....

I think.. am in somekind of situation now.. Uhm.. D and Hendri had been acting very weird..
I realised, D had been quiet for the past few days and i thought is because that he is still pissed off over what had happened last weekend. Then, here comes Hendri who is starting to care so much abt me... and again initially, i thought is because he just care as a fren, seeing how depressed i was last weekend...

Then today, Hendri signed up a plurk,...am not surprise because he had been saying that for the longest time. but his plurk is starting to get me confuse..n then D's plurk aso..D said sumthing like.. how does it feel if you and your best pal fall for the same gal?
I asked Hen but he doesnt want to tell me as well.. wth.. am confused..I think.. maybe.. Hen and D fall for me at the same time?Im confused...

I know abt D.. but Hendri? since when? he has been the jayus guy ever.. who always like to tease me when i pose for picture but why the hell?I dunno wad is going on.. it might just be my thought and seriously..i realli hope that its nt happening...D himself is already hard for me to deal with.. pls dun add another hen.. why cant we just be frenz.. cos they know, my mind is still with firman..

n yeah.. last nite, i broke down to tear tears again.. i saw this pic of firman n frenz.. have vero, amek, selwyn, anita in the pic. n guess wad, firman was wearing a formal shirt which i later found out from vero is becos, its a wedding mass.. seeing him doing so well, so handsome, n be in the church again.. i thought i should be happy.. but i dunno why i broke into tears and cry again... maybe cos, anita is inside? or is it becos, i feel useless cos since last time, i cant get him to church? Asking to church is like forcing him to die? i dunno...

Like i said before, i told myself zillion times that i should be happy that he is happy now.. but my heart is in painful state.. cos i know, im nt the one who makes him happy.. i broke down.. realli broke down to tears.. webcaming with nenek, cried like a mad dog.. but yeah... its painful..

Life had been so confusing for me right now.. i wish, i can be stronger.. i realli wish.. maybe, i should just delete my fb.. delete my plurk.. becos, its one of the source of my confusion.. like the picture? it just happened to show up in my fb live feeds.. and yeah it brought me down.. I dunno,.. i think i should just pull myself up again..

Anw, Vero told me, she is not moving on as well.. when i thought she is okay d.. she plurked me and said.. she is not as well.. n it strucked me.. but wadever it is.. i hope she is fine... with amek n firman looking after her there, i guess she should be doing okay.. i know it must be hard for her as well.. imagine, you flip thru someone u love' fb and see him hugging another gal? i think i will go berzerk.. but have faith lil sis.. i know u can do it.. we both jia you to get over thru this together... *hugz*