I found my way back to God..

Yesterday.. i stepped into a church again after 2 months.. i cried while praying.. i cried while the rest singing praises.. i dunno why i cried.. when i look at the cross, i see God and i keep saying sorry and i dunno why..

I lost hope for him for a few times.. i remembered when i just broke up with firman, i used to kneel and pray for hours... hours.. hoping tat God will bring firman back to me, but He doesnt.. and tat time, i realli lost hope.. i blame God for taking him away from me.. i blame God for taking the most important thing in my life.. n i hated him in fact.. but i still prayed everynite... i dunno why.. but i still prayed everynite since then..

I felt terribly close to Him yesterday.. though, surrounding me, there are a lot of new friends from different cell group.. but i just felt that God is so close to me.. N i realli feel i wanna be close to him again..

Fedrik (one of the cell leader), told me, everything tat God had done.. its for my own good.. Mungkin Tuhan ambil Firman dari aku.. itu jalan yg lebi bae dari aku.. aku beneren.. dak tau mo omonk apo..

Tp, kemaren di gereja.. i feel the peacefulness tat i had never feel since firman is gone.. the prayers, the praises, realli brought me the sense of peace which no one can ever imagine..

Dear God, am sorry.. am sorry tat i blamed u.. am sorry that i lost hope in u.. Thanks also God, u brought me back close in ur arms.. :)

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