Last nite.. i went to a party with Mel.. there were a lot of people in the party..it should be fun but i dunno why.. amidst of all the laughter and fun.. i feel so lonely... Not being alone physically.. but alone mentally... Have you ever feel that you are alone when actually you are in the midst of lotsa of people? I look around the hall.. trying to enjoy the fun, trying to entertain those people who talks to me but i cant.. im pissed off with myself.. i hate it when im feelin tat way.. Then i told Mel, i make a move first... i was out.. in the cab n crying to myself..
I didnt know why am i crying.. then the new fren, a guy, who just got my number sms me.. "Cheer up k.. u r pretty and nice gal.. hope to hang out with u again soon" and i was like.. damn! No.. i dun want to.. im wondering.. i should be flattered isnt it cos people are praising me... !! I dunno why he said Cheer up? did my face show any sadness at all in the party? i dunno.. but i seriously dun think so..
nowadays, i learnt how to hide my feelings well in front of people.. but i broke down the moment i get into the cab... i hate it.. i hate that feeling.. i hate my mood nowadays! it can just flip flop so fast.. n its realli weird to have tat feeling... how can anione be lonely when u r in the midst of the party?
Then i was home... i received a sms from Niky.. asked me whether i had my dinner.. how am i? am i still puking? then again.. i get pissed off.. i realli dunno why the hell am angry when people care for me.. then i talked to him on msn.. i told him wad happened in the party and he said.. is it becos am too tired? i dunno!! i freaking dunno... maybe i am but.. usually although am tired, i dun feel so lonely out of sudden!
Then.. yeah.. Heri called.. i talked to him for very long.. i told him everything.. how is life.. how am i getting on.. and wad had just happened.. He just said a simple word.."You are smart... u know and u understand, but u just refuse to acknowledge"
I know so many people had been giving me all the support that they can.. loving me in any way.. im grateful.. i didnt know wads wrong with me last nite but... i guess its just a mood swing.. gals do have that sometimes right? although i hate it but.. i cant deny that sometimes, me too have that kind of weird feelings..
Weirdo Angela....
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment