The long ride..

I let my dumb mind gotten over me again.. OK yeah again!! I know its silly.. i know am being dumb.. but there are times when i cant control this feeling that i feel inside.. i was angry with myself.. i tried to study so hard.. had been in front of the book for the longest time but i flipped back my book and just cry.. cos nutink realli gets into my mind.. and im angry with myself.. i cursed and sweared.. Ok, i know am being immature, but.. can someone know how am i feeling inside? I used to be so capable.. to learn things very fast but now?? I tried so hard and yet nutink can come into my brain cos of my stupid mindd...

I felt that am the dumbest gal in the world.. realli the dumbest.. i asked myself.. what is the point of crying? it just got me tired.. and nutink will ever change.. nutink.. not even a single lil thing will change..

Then i asked D for a fast drive.. a ride.. he had been looking for me for whole day but, i didnt pick up his call or reply to his sms.. and his skype is off.. so when i plurked, he replied me instantly.. he knew that something happened to me by my plurk? we argued.. but he still come eventually with hendri and nicko. .

I knew he was pissed when he saw me.. bcos, he didnt say a word when i got into the car.. then hendri told me to go up and get my passport.. so i did.. i didnt know, wads wrong.. its the first time, i saw D didnt bother to look at me at all.. and when i got back into the car, D just drove off without asking me where i wanna go.. so am puzzled, i looked at hendri and nicko.. they too cant give me any answer.. n just shake their heads.

Ok.. then i cried silently cos its been so awkward.. then i realised, we are heading towards immigration and i was like!! What!! where the hell are we going.. so i asked D nicely.. "D, where are we going?" and D just replied with a forced smile.. The rest seems to know where we are heading but no one told me..

Once cleared the Malaysia custom, and after half an hour ride.. there i was still crying.. D blast off his audio and i was immersed in my own thought and D suddenly speed very fast and am shocked.. D said' u need a fast drive rite?" now i gave u.. Then, i looked at hendri and nicko.. Hendri just said.."loe kale ini beneren bikin dia dah gila".. and i was...

Then i dun even care.. i keep crying and immersed in my own thought.. i didnt knw wth i was thinking.. then Nicko suddenly said.."Loe mo ke KL ga.. kalo mau skrg juga.. abisin semuanya.."
Then i shook my head.. D was angry.. He stopped his car and dragged me out of the car. Then we both talked outside.. while hendri and nicko still in the car..

D asked, do i want to go KL? Meet firman and finished off everything.. he can dun go up to mentari with me.. but let hendri or nicko to accompany me up cos he knew he wun be able to control his temper if he happens to see firman.. I contemplated for awhile.. n i didnt give him any answer..

Then back in the car, i can see that we are on highway ... heading towards Melaka KL.. suddenly, i told D, nope.. i wanna go home.. am tired.. then Hendri said.. "Serius? yakin? kita org dah disini.. kalo mau beresin skrg juga.. loe mo mpe kapan kek begini trus?" then i said yeah i just wanna go home..

The whole ride.. i was crying.. i didnt know wads wrong with me.. its like some devil gotten inside me.. i miss firman.. though in the car, beside of me there is this guy who loves me.. but, i cant look at him at all.. my whole thought is all about firman.. but i do know.. D is angry with me.. cos i guess i had been making him worried..

Now.. am back at home after almost 5 hours of ride.. am tired.. i need some sleep.. i hope i can wake up fresh and steady and go for my exam.. i wanted a ride and it was given so there is nutink to complain nemore..

I see David's plurk now.. tat he is worried about me.. and he wonders whether its ok to leave me alone in my room rite now... i dunno wad to say.. i know he was angry.. cos im emo again.. tats y he didnt want to talk to me.. but now, i shall just go to sleep and hopes tat everything would be okay when i wakes up..

Wadever it is.. Thanks for the long ride.. and the accompany.. D, Hendri and Nick.. :)