I finally make the first move..

This morning, i woke up.. i finally make my first move for so long to sms firman. I thought, i will cry when i sms him.. but nope, i didnt.. am glad tat i finally got the courage to sms him. I know, he might nt even reply me. I know he might be thinkin why i sent a sms to him. But this morning, i dunno why i tot, i took up my hp and sms him.

"Fir, gmana kabarna? kuliah ok ok be dak? uhmm.. tekker yo.. bln depan ato kapan gt exam kan.. jia you and gud luck yo buat exam.. ganbatte ^^"

Seriously, i dun meant anitink when i sms him.. n realli, i dun expect him to give me any reply.. i tot, i just dun wanna hide nemore. I just wanna show tat no matter wad, even he n I cant be couple nemore, i sincerely hope tat we can still be friend.

These days, i had come to terms that he is no longer mine.Not that i dun love him nemore but i realised that i cant force someone to love me. If his heart is not with me nemore, i can only hope that he can find someone who he loves and makes him happy.. n when he is happy, i shall be happy as well..

These last few days, i realli figured out lotsa of things.. maybe when u r nt feeling well then u will know how to think better? haha.. Yesterday, i managed to find back all the old photos with him.. i tot, yeah Angela will cry.. and will be saddened, i prayed.. and instead i feel thankful for those happy memories.. i smiled when i look at all those photos.. n instead of blaming Firman for dumping me.. now, i feel thankful becos.. he had brought so much happy memories in my life.. of cos, there are some bad memories as well but.. this time round, im just being thankful..

I realised, i had been thankful.. for all had happened.. maybe God wants something to happen to me.. maybe its not time for me to settle down yet.. and i have other things that i need to prioritise..

Then yesterday, i talked to koko, i told him tat am thankful.. instead of complaining, i learnt how to see things in a way that am thankful.. n maybe the reason, am able to punch the sms earlier on is becos of koko as well. Koko tell me one thing, "I know you are starting to be thankful. If you already forgive him.. n be thankful for all the gud memories, then u can just sms him. Give him the support like how you always want us to pray for him as well. But, dun expect that he will reply you or anitink becos the more you expect, the more disappointment you will get as well"

Dearest Bb.. I realli hope that you are doing well cos me too is starting to bring back the best in me.. am realli thankful.. with ur presence in my life before.. you taught me lotsa of things, let me learned lotsa of things.. and left me with lotsa of beautiful memories.. Now looking at u, i dun cry nemore.. but i smile cos am being thankful.. i realised, keep complaining will get me to nowhere but exhaustion but if am being thankful.. life will be so much much easier..

Maybe there will be times when i miss you.. will be times that im grumbling.. will be times that i complained.. will be times when i swear again.. but, for now am just being thankful..

One day, i hope, we can meet again.. by then we might have our own life.. might have our own path... but the things that you had brought into my life.. is something that i will never forget.. for the rest of my life..

Thanks Bb.. ^^