:)

Ari ini aku tau kau ado fb baru.. aku nunggu kau add aku tp kau dak add sama sekali.. kemaren kau ultah, aku ucapin kau happy bdae.. jg kau dak bales.. i think kau beneren dah dak pengen ada ubungan apa2 aama aku..

aku bakal bae2 be.. aku harap kau jugo.. :)

Worst nitemare ever.. Ever!!!

baby.. did u sleep well? i had the worst nitemare ever.. EVER!!! i saw ur pixs with Chenny n Vhonny last nite.. baby, i know those are just photos.. i know.. up till now, i wanna believe u.. wanna believe tat u still love me.. told myself again and again, i will be just fine.. though heart is shaking n breaking, but.. i guess i can still take it n walk on..

am having my exam today bb.. i tried to get some sleep earlier on but was awaken by the worst nitemare ever.. i dreamt tat when i go KL.. u were all alone in ur room.. i ask u, what is going on? n who is in ur mind now?? u show me the picture of u and her.. i hit u so badly.. i keep slapping u.. keep banging ur head to the wall and i eventually sit down quietly at a corner of ur room.. sweeping like nobody business..

Baby.. its just a dream rite? just a dream.. it wun happen in reality.. i know u still love me n bb, i love u heapz as well.. i just wanna believe in u bb.. in everything that u had told me.. i love u b.. i will be strong to walk on.. its nt easy i gotta admit..but i guess i can..

bb paintball..

bb.. u was out playing paintball whole day.. had fun?? now i guess u should be eating ur dinner d.. wad did u eat??

bb.. remember to sleep well 2nite.. must be very tired after a whole day of paintball.. sleep tite baby.. sweet dream yo..

i will be fine

bb.. i will be gud n fine.. i promised... :)

22/08/09 - A week without u babe..

Bb.. its had been a week tat i do not have u? how have u been baby for this one week? I guess, am feeling a lil bit btter? but might not aso?? babe, i dunno.. maybe from the outside, yeah angela is back the bubbly and cheerful one but,.. i dun realli know wad is happening inside.. i wish, its the same as outside, i realli dunno..

We had a long talk tat nite.. bb, i finally got o hear ur voice.. did u know how much i missed u? :) u told me, u want me to change for myself.. bb, u know all this long... its realli nt all becos of u, but its for US. i realli dunno how to explain it to u.. but i guess ur decision is realli firm this time round.. it hurts babe.. i even thought, am i a burden to u? all along, am i a burden to u?

then u told me.. to change for myself.. to do everything for myself... to change to a better person for myself.. n i told u i can.. i sure can.. u said, u will be back, if tat realli happens.. bb, i had gone thru so much pain this 1 week.. sometimes, i realli even felt tat i lost any feeling nemore.. but i will be strong.. i promised u i will be strong n will show u tat i realli can! bb, i just hope and pray u hold on to ur words n promise.. i realli just want to believe in u...i will change for myself b.. just look at me k! take a look at me.. :)

Bb.. i still can see u, can still talk to u online.. n it realli eased me up.. i can see u smile.. and bb, it realli.. sometimes, i wish u r still mine.. like u used to be.. but i know... u r not nemore.. i know i had to be alone n walk on strong alone.. bb, u too have to be good k.. i love u b.. undeniable, i love u heapz.. sorry for the pain i had brought u for the past 3.5 years.. but.. i realli dun meant it..

be good baby.. realli gotta be good k? :)

180809 - 5th day

b.. i miss u so much.. realli so much.. it aches everytime i cant hold u.. i tried to sleep tried to be as cheerful as possible but bb.. it realli aches inside..

i feel tat something is missing..realli something is missing.. but i will be strong.. i love u n i needed u actually.. but.. :)

i didnt make it to office again.. had been days tat i didnt go to office.. nak peegi sebenerna.. tp, badan kekna dak kuat nian.. i hope i can be strong again yeah.. i realli hope so! love u bb..

How r u today? did u have fun today? dah mam2 belon b? do u miss me like i do?? :)

Nitemaree.. 1

Bb.. i finally got myself to sleep earlier on... but just awhile, i had this nitemare which awaken me.. i woke up and look for ur msn.. thinking tat u r still there... jaga me to sleep as usual.. babe, but u were no there... :)

How are u bb? guess by now, u already gt ur botak head? do u like it? bb... i missed u so bad.. i dunno how to tell u how much i had missed u.. n hw much i would want to pao2 u..

This nitemare, is the 1st one i have.. ever since u left me..maybe cos this is the first time i got myself some real sleep... bb, i dreamt of u.. loving me, kissing u but dunno y, suddenly u become very fierce.. start to scold me and kicked me away... when i woke up, i feel tears from the side of my eyes.. i knew, thought i might be sleeping but i was crying..??

Bb, life without u realli feels so empty.. had been days.. this is the first time i feel so much pain in my life b... n, b.. the pain is so painful tat sometimes i realli dunno how to deal with it...

i realli wishes u can wake up... look at the times we used to have.. our hardwork to keep this relationship going, the dreams we shared, and the love we have for eah other...

We have yet.. accomplished anitink bb.. we still have our dreams tat had yet been fulfilled,... bb.. pls look back..

I reallii knew sometimes i realli get u down ur nerve.. but bb, i realli realli dun meant it.. and it realli pains me to quarel with u.. bb, i will want to change.. i realli do.. i know i can if i have u to walk on this path with me..

dearest bb, i love u heapz.. realli i do.. love u heapz.. saw u still online in FB.. sleep early k.. dun get urself sick as well.. :)

17 August 2009 - 4th day

Bb.. today, i saw u entirely took out all our pics in ur fb.. n u changed ur status to single.. do u know it hurts? i dunno.. why.. u r so firm with ur decisio this time round.. i believed u still love me.. but y r u doin things tat will hurt me.. and might hurt urself as well..

today is the 4th day.. i didnt manage to go to work.. i cant.. i realli cant.. my body is feeling weak all over..
i know u despise seeing me like this.. if i can, i wun want as well..

i saw in ur facebook tat u gonna get ur hair botak.. bb, i knew u like it..to be botak.. but i always dun allow u to. cos i like to play with ur hair.. do u realised tat i always like to smell ur hair.. kiss ur head when u r playing games? it reall feels veri nice.. n warm b...

now.. u gt ur wish come true.. actually u look good in botak as well.. i bet u will as well this time round..
i wish i can see.. i realli wish i can..

I went to see doctor just now... but doctor aso dunno wad is wrong,.. just say drink more water.. hopefully its nutink bad..

How are u today b...? how was ur class?? do u like ur new hair?? i mmissed u so bad..

16 August 2009 - 3rd Day

Bb..its the third day without u.. i missed u.. so bad.. i cant stop crying.. cant stop thinkin about u.. cant stop asking why.. n exam is on as well..

I tried.. realli tried to pick up the book to study.. i wanna be ur gud gal.. i wanna fulfil the promise of getting first class honours for u.. but.. i realli cant.. read thru a lil.. n closed the book again.. just thinkin to smoke thru the paper..

Baby.. till now, i had not slept n eat at all.. i know u will be upset.. or u wun care nemore? i dunno but i just want to believe u will be upset.. i wanna eat, i wanna sleep, my body is getting realli weak but.. whenever i closed my eyes, the pain is just so painful..

Ur shadow.. ur ghosts is everywhere in this room baby.. n actually i loved them to be around.. its all u only.. those special memories tat we used to have..

After my exam.. i wanted so much to give u a call like i always did.. i hold on to my hp, but i cant get my hand to punch ur number.. i just have to bear with it.. got on to a cab and yeah on my way home..

Vero said.. u were having dinner with her.. did u guys had a nice dinner? i miss having dinner with u guys.. the fun, the jokes, the laughter.. i miss u all..

Baby.. how r u?? did u miss me at all? i missed u.. heapz..

15 August 2009 - 2nd Day

Baby.. I heard u r going to play futsal today.. must be very excited.. cos tats the thing tat never failed to make u happy.. B.. will u score lotsa of goals for me?

It had been a day, i missed ur voice.. i missed ur pao2... i missed u baby.. i starting to hate myself for ruining our relationship.. i realli hated myself.. but baby, i realli dun meant it..

Today, i just stayed at home.. i kept on looking through our pictures.. i love to see the way u hug me.. the way u hold my hands.. n the way u act cute in front of the cam.. and im glad.. u still have our picture in ur fb.. :)

Days without u is realli so different babe.. what r u doin now baby?? r u missing me as well.. :)

14 August 2009 - The day

Bb.. 14 August is the day i lost u.. u said u wanted ur freedom.. u said we are not suitable nemore.. i love u b.. i never thought today will come... but yeah it happened..


I was at a restaurant.. having a meeting for upcoming launch.. got to know actually i might be able to go Malaysia for a month in November.. Was so excited therefore give u a call.. but.. u sounded so different.. n u told me its time for us to part... tears rushed down my cheeck not within my control.. i told myself to hold back the tears and walked into the restaurant again.. but once i settled down again, my tears betrayed me again.. i took my bag, rushed out the mall, flag a cab and go home.

At home.. i received ur sms again askin me not to call u nemore n u wun picked up my call nemore.. i was so painful.. i kneeled down n pray hoping tat its not true tat am only dreaming.. keep trying to call u but no to avail..

I cant eat.. cant sleep though i wanted to. I am missing every bit of u.. ur voice, ur pao2, ur love u.. ur muach2.. everything.. b.. life without u is so different.. n today is only the first day.. i dunno how am i goin to go thru the rest of the days... i miss u baby..